Monday, December 17, 2007

New Beginnings

This time of year always brings thoughts of new beginnings, and reflection on what has gone before. This year has been full of new beginnings for me, and I am so excited about what those seeds of change will blossom into in 2008 that I can hardly sit still. Beginning my journey with Blissful Body Yoga is a big part of what has been new, exciting, and at times terrifying for me this year.

When I began the process of changing my life in many radical ways several years ago things were not blissful. They were mostly sad and full of struggle, and a sinking, heavy grief. I knew I wanted huge changes from the life I had at the time, but I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do, how to do it, and most of the time I felt that if I could ever figure it all out I certainly wouldn't have the energy to do
any
of it. I had definitely, and firmly, hit my bottom.

I did a few things, which were the only things I could really come up with at the time. First, I started asking for help.
Big time.
I started asking everyone for help on anything I could get, and then I started accepting it. These were two things I had never really done before in my life. I was comfortable being "the helper", not receiving the help. I was amazed at how willingly, and lovingly so many came to my aide. And I was even more amazed by how many stayed; even when I was a miserable, crazy person to be around. I've learned a lot about love the last few years, and I have those great teachers to thank for it.

Second, I started making lists of all the things I thought might help my present situation, and all the things I thought I might like to do next.
Uncensored.
Anything that sounded good, and more importantly
felt
good, like deep down in my heart and in my gut. If I got that sort of visceral reaction to it, I wrote it down. Then I started believing it was entirely possible I could do any of it, maybe even all of it. Oh, not in a realistic thought-out-and-planned sort of way, but in a I-think-I'll-just-go-do-that sort of way. For a short time I was completely convinced I was going to get my own travel show (like Samantha Brown, who I watched incessantly) on the Travel Channel. Yep, that seemed a completely viable life change. I went ice climbing frozen waterfalls, rock climbing, ran a 1/2 marathon, and I started to get rid of just about everything I owned and put my house on the market. I started meeting new people, reaching out even when inside I was caving in; even when my heart was broken. I met the love of my life at a hockey game one night. I was crushingly sad and had no energy that night, but I made myself go out to be in the energy and activity of other people, and to keep myself from imploding. I ended up randomly sitting next to him, and simply the quality of his energy, something in his very presence, was a comfort to me. A few months later we were dating, and it has been the relationship I longed for all my life.

Another thing I did was to collect little shinny things that I could keep in my pockets to keep me going. I would write down bits of inspiration, quotes, things people said to me; the right words, that seemed to come at the right times. I kept them all around as little talismans for my soul. Things to point me back to the light, when the dark began to creep in again. The other day I was cleaning out my desk area, an end-of-year ritual, and I came across one of my little pocket notepads from that time. There were a lot of interesting things in that little book, but there was one in particular that caught my eye. I wrote it down right about the time things were beginning to come into a little better focus for me. It was right about the time I started formulating this dream of intensifying my yogic studies and becoming a full-time yoga teacher; it was the beginning of Blissful Body Yoga. I don't remember where the quote came from, nor was that noted on the piece of paper, what was written there was this:

This is the most important moment of your life...commit to it.
You have no fear now. You are completely free.
Behind this mask...beneath this flesh...are ideas, and
ideas are bulletproof.

Ideas. Are. Bulletproof.


My deepest wish for all of you as we come to the close of another year, is to find an idea: something that gets you deep down in your gut, something that grabs you and won't let go. Something that sets your soul on fire. If you are in the ashes, then know that you will rise. And no matter what anyone tells you, no matter how they may try to dissuade you with talk of how crazy your idea may be, go forward. Be bold. Be fearless. Don't be ruthless. And at all costs, discover your bliss.

With loving kindness-

Teal Marie



2 comments:

morninglady said...

Thanks for your blog. I started a gratitude list on Facebook and started posting to it. People have begun to respond in interesting ways. Maybe we are spreading a little gratitude. I'll keep coming back to your blog. My blog is mymorningmuse.blogspot.com.

Free Credit Score said...

Thank you for your blog, very nicely-written :)