Starting a LovingKindness Meditation Practice

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The practice of lovingkindness (or Metta, in Pali) comes to us from the Buddhist tradition, but its essence is a tenant of all major religions. The instructions are simple and universal: love yourself, love each other; and yet, we struggle with its application. It is easy enough to love ourselves or someone else when they are doing things that we like, but the challenges can be great when we are confronted with those whose actions are seemingly “unlovable,” or when we are faced with aspects of ourselves that we find hard to accept with love and compassion.
Thomas Merton expressed the challenge, and heroic nature of our struggle to embrace with lovingkindness that which we like least in ourselves, and others, when he said, “True prayer and love are learned in the hour when prayer becomes impossible and the heart has turned to stone.”

The idea behind the Buddhist approach to lovingkindness practice is that it is, a practice. Something we must do repeatedly and with discipline until it becomes an integral part of our deepest selves; an automatic reaction to people and events in our world. The process of turning a heart of stone into a heart that is softened with the deepest compassion and love is a step-by-step process that we have the opportunity to practice in every moment of our lives.

One of the most effective ways to begin a lovingkindness practice is through the use of Metta meditation. In this simple meditation we offer a wish for freedom, happiness, and the cessation of suffering for a particular person, group, or the entire world. A basic Metta meditation for all beings is:

May all beings be happy.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings be at peace.

An example of Metta directed towards a particular person is:
May _________ be happy.
May _________ be free from harm.
May _________ be filled with peace.

You can repeat one, or all three of the phrases over and over, aloud or in your head, for 2-5 minutes while visualizing the person or group you are focusing on, and imagining that you are sending this lovingkindness out to them. Because it can be challenging to focus on and offer this sort of energy to those who we have negative feelings towards, it is recommended that the practitioner proceed by first offering Metta to themselves, then to a benefactor, a friend, a neutral person (bank teller, someone you see on a walk), a difficult person, and finally, All Beings. It is important to start the focus of our practice by offering lovingkindness to ourselves, because only by having a truly deep and abiding love for ourselves can we have this same love for others.

As part of the self-love aspect of a lovingkindness practice we can reflect back to the yogic practice of Ahimsa (non-violence, non-harming.) We must remember as we strive to fill our hearts, minds and actions with lovingkindness that we are only human, and we will often fall short of our ideals. In those moments we must embrace Ahimsa and not react violently towards ourselves, but rather use the next moment as an opportunity to start once again in the mindset of lovingkindness by offering it with gentleness and compassion to our selves.

Because Metta meditation is formed from such simple phrases it is a wonderfully portable tool that we can bring into our daily application of lovingkindness. When we find ourselves in a long line at the supermarket, or being cut off in traffic, or treated unfairly in our workplace, instead of becoming angry, and slipping to what author Joseph Goldstein calls, “the seductive habit of finding fault,” we can pause for a moment and offer a pledge of lovingkindness to the person that is causing us distress. By slowing down and being less reactive, we can often see the good qualities of the person we are confronted with, or “put ourselves in their shoes” for a moment. From this calm, centered point-of-view we can better see the reality of the situation and act in a logical manner that will bring the most wholesome outcome for all those involved, rather then reacting from a place of fear, irritation and anger. In time, lovingkindness removes the illusion of separation from each other that we often feel.

As the Dalai Lama says, “Through the practice of lovingkindness and compassion I have found that all human beings are just like me.”

May you be happy. May you be free from all suffering. May you be filled with peace.

Lovingkindness Practice Resources
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
The Gift of Loving-Kindness: 100 Meditations on Compassion, Generosity, & Forgiveness by Mary Brantley and Tesilya Hanauer
DailyBuddhism.com (Website) from Brian Schell

© 2009 Teal Marie Chimblo and Blissful Body Yoga

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A Wish and A Prayer

Yesterday was certainly a day full of immense energy here in the United States, and around the world, as we witnessed the inauguration of President Barack Hussein Obama. The swearing into office of this president was particularly significant for many reasons, but I think the thing that struck me most about the ceremony, is the same thing that amazes me each time we have a new president: the peaceful transfer of so much power. We need only look around the world today, or in the annals of human history, to see what a rare, and impressive occurrence this is. It makes me very proud of my country.

As I watched the inauguration yesterday it was wonderful to see so many happy, hopeful people. As a yogini I know that there is nothing more powerful, more initiating of great change, then the power of unity, optimism and positive thinking. I feel this country has suffered a great, "dark night of the soul" in recent years, and I too, feel that yesterday was the dawn of a new day, in many ways.

However, I also felt a great level of concern about the unrealistic, and somewhat excessive nature of the enthusiasm. Without getting into what I personally perceive Barack Obama's strengths and weakness as the leader of our country may be, I am absolutely certain that he is a man, not a messiah. And man, does he have his work cut out for him.

Listening to the almost frenzied way that some people have been talking about him over the last year, I've really come to feel a bit sorry for the guy. People have put him up, I think unfairly, on a very high pedestal, and it is a very long fall from there.

I am also concerned by the ferocious hatred I see coming from both "sides" of the political spectrum. I feel it in myself. I have opinions, strong ones, and sometimes it is hard for me to accept that others are entitled to theirs. I can feel the tightness and separation this causes in myself, and I see it in other people. We must work with great vigor to recognize that this separation is illusion. We must, as the Dalai Lama says, "find through compassion that all human beings are just like me." This is the tallest order of all, but I believe it is a worthy goal that we must strive towards.

How can yoga inform a situation like this?

Yoga is at it's core a set of teachings focusing on union, and on staying firmly rooted in "the middle path," where we are not subject to the highs and lows of excess in any area, including emotions. As the Bhagavad Gita teaches us, "A lamp does not flicker in a place with no wind." Powerful emotions can set us on fire with enthusiasm and energy, but they may not sustain us over a long haul when the initial "glow" of an exciting situation has worn off.

I say all this not to rain on any one's parade, not to diminish the excitement and power of this time, but to offer a call for a level of rationalism and realism, that will help us as a country, and throughout the world, to sustain a positive momentum for all the hard and long work we, and our new president, have ahead of us.

On this day I have a wish and prayer, from the bottom of my heart, for this man, for my country, and for this planet.

It is a portion of the Saha Navavatu Mantra that we often recite at the beginning of a yoga class, and it helps to define the scope and the nature of the work before us. I think it beautifully expresses the energy of enthusiasm, realism, and unity, we must have on our journey of "the middle path."

OM saha navavatu
saha nau bhunaktu
saha viryam karavavahai
tejasvi navadhitamastu
ma vidvishavahai
OM shanti, shanti, shanti

Om
May we be protected together
May we be nourished together
May we work together with great vigor
May our study be enlightening
May no obstacle arise between us
Om peace, peace, peace

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String Rings: a beautiful reminder to be kind, patient, loving, forgiving...

String-Ring

Is this the cutest ring ever? I want one so much (going immediately on my Christmas list, and I am trying to be really good this year.) And a beautiful new twist on an old way of helping us to remember to be things like...

patient

kind

gracious

loving

forgiving

Some days, I probably need one of each of these on each finger! Check them out, here.

And, while you are at it PLEASE go meet the NICE people at Operation Nice...they really are so nice, and they inspire niceness...and...if you tell them your story of nice, you might win a String-Ring!

Be nice to someone you day. Go a step further, be nice to someone you really don't like. Find yourself, inside of them, and open up the doors of compassion and love.

"Through compassion you find that all human beings are just like you."

– HH The Dalai Lama