Thinking of you Tamar

This morning when I checked my email I found out that one of the most amazing women I have ever met had left her body. I did not know her my whole life, just for a short and special time. We did our yoga training at the Kripalu Center together. But, she touched my life with her kindness, insight, intelligence and her smile. She was a truly magnificent human being. She lived in Dancing Rabbit Eco-community and among other things she helped build many of the structures in the community with natural materials. I remember her telling me about this during YTT and asking her a million questions. "You can make houses out of straw and wood just like the old days and they look like that!! WOW!" I was just amazed. You can see some pictures of what I am talking about here.

She was also, of course, a yoga teacher. So bright and skillful and gentle. She could explain things so quietly and clearly. Another one of her many gifts.

After our YTT she went on to learn midwifery so she could attended and assist in the births at her community. Amazing stuff.

She also played the fiddle, loved to dance, had the brightest smile and the most glorious thick and shiny hair you have ever seen. She was one of the most conscious communicators I have ever seen. I told her she should work for the UN, she could probably get us all to find common ground and get along somehow.

In some of the group shares and one-on-one work we did together in YTT she said some of the nicest things to me anyone has ever said. I did what i could to thank her in words and tell her how healing she had been to me; but words fall far, far short.

When she was diagnosed last year with Neurendocrine pancreatic cancer I was just stunned. It seemed impossible that someone so young and healthy could have such a thing. Tamar started a blog at the time to share her Journey, as she called it, with friends and family and in the hope that whatever she discovered along the way might be helpful to someone else. You can read her blog here from the beginning. And,  here is the final post made by her sister yesterday. In her death she was so surrounded and cradled by love. That makes me happy and I am glad that she no longer suffers. But, I am gutted that she is gone from this realm.

After I post this I am going to harvest some herbs from my garden and begin making healing tinctures and salves. I wish you were here to get out there with me Tamar, it's such a beautiful day and I know how you loved to be outdoors, AND I know you know A LOT more about this stuff then I do! I will do my best in your honor anyway...maybe I'll see you out there:-)

This one's for you Tamar. May you be happy, may you be eternally peace-full. See you around sweet girl.

One of my favorite poems ever...

I live my life in growing orbits
By Rainer Maria Rilke

I live my life in growing orbits
which move out over the things of the world.
Perhaps I can never achieve the last,
but that will be my attempt.

I am circling around God, around the ancient tower,
and I have been circling for a thousand years,
and I still don’t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
or a great song.